If I Don't Ever Try

 If I Don't Ever Try

I raise my glass, and back down again

Asking myself, what have I been thinking?

I couldn't possibly lay fault on anyone else but myself

And yet, if I don't have a soul,

Am I truly to blame?

Forgive me for asking, 

Where then did I go?

Reduced to a shell

Wondering aimlessly, so

I was told here I'll stay

Until I get old

I don't like it in here

It's terribly dark

I've become so complacent

How did this all start?

My skin has gone clammy

No light in my heart

The worst of it is, I'm destroying myself

Drinking this liquor, that makes me feel funk

I'm told by my peers. I've become an old drunk

I'd like to go back

To my soul now instead

But, I can't find my way 

Through the fog in my head

Can anyone hear me?

Is help on it's way?

That's not how it works

I'm beginning to think

It would seem my whole life

Has flashed by in a blink

Maybe its me

Who makes the first move

Maybe I'm the one

Who holds the power to choose

I need to find courage to change out of this faze,

Forgive from within, discard my old ways. Will it

Be easy, will it be hard, to make a new life when

Emotionally scared? 

With so many questions 

And needs to know why, 

How could I know

If I don't ever try?

Written By: 

Michael K. Englmann

May 08, 2022

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